Wednesday, April 15, 2015

Going Public...

I have knots in my stomach as I sit here and type... And for some reason, of course, some slow Garth Brooks song (The Dance) would have to play. As if this wasn't hard enough to type... But here goes...
Chuck and I are no longer together. Some of you know this and to others it may come as a complete shock. It's still a shock to me. 10 years of marriage, 13 years of being together... Gone. I would love to say that there was some big huge life shattering event that caused this, but I have to be honest with myself. It was many things... Small things, but things that hurt none the less.
At the end of the day it comes down to this: I had to do what I had to do to make sure that I could look in the mirror each night and know that I did EVERYTHING possible to make sure my sons were happy, healthy, and loved.
I am sure that I will receive some back lash for this post. I know that Chuck, and I believe some of his family, read my blog and will see this post. If you are his family and are seeing this news for the first time I am sorry you had to find out this way.
So now, it's out there. It has been about a month since I asked him to leave and I still have moments where I want to call him. To hear his voice. To have his friendship. However, this is what is best for all 4 of us and I hope that my friends and family can respect my decision and be there for me when I need them....

Saturday, March 14, 2015

Why the dark cloud?

I'm not really sure where this post is going to go, so bear with me.
I feel like I'm spending all day standing in the rain. Like a dark cloud follows me wherever I go and no matter what I can't get away from it. The only time I seem to find relief is when I am working with my kids at Church. Church has always been my "shelter in the storm." No matter what I was going through I could just leave it in the parking lot, put a smile on my face and enjoy my time there... Problem was, as soon as I leave the cloud comes back.
I know it's stress. Honestly between my health issues and some issues in my marriage life is chucking some huge curve balls at me and I just don't have the energy to dodge them anymore. I feel like I'm sinking and have forgotten how to swim.
Don't get me wrong I am not depressed. I still enjoy life each second, but I just feel like something that used to be there is missing. Maybe it's because I can't do the things I used to do. When I used to get upset or stressed, I'd go run. I can't do that anymore. When I needed to get outside the boys and I would run, play, and jump on the trampoline. I can't do that anymore. And with Chuck being gone for work all the time I don't have his shoulder anymore.
Writing helps. Being able to get my feelings down and out makes me feel a little silly. Like why I am feeling that way? I have a God who loves me unconditionally, a huge supportive family, a husband who loves me, an amazing Church family, and two wonderful sons. I am blessed beyond measure. I truly am... So why do I let the bad things win sometimes? I feel silly but it's such a relief too. Almost as if by typing them out I am releasing them from me...
Hopefully that's one of the first steps in becoming me again.

Wednesday, March 4, 2015

The rest of February 2015

Man, February was a CRAZY month and not always in a good day. We were super busy with the good and the bad... If you are my friend on Facebook or follow me on Twitter (@Duffy_Partyof4) you already know that!
Anyway, let's finish off February so we can move on :D
On Valentines Day the boys and I went running errands with my parents. When we stopped to get a soda the cashier at the Gas Station gave Mom and I both a beautiful wooden rose!
On the evening of the 15th our Youth Group had a True Love Waits Ring Ceremony! Before it began I took this photo of Jacob and my friend Amanda's son, Hayden, playing games on my phone!
On the 17th, I posted this photo on my Instagram:
I was having a rough day and decided to have something amazing for lunch... It really helped!
On the 18th I had to have a Spirometry Test done at my doctor's office... It didn't go so well...
The best thing about St. Patricks Day is finding little Irish themed things that we can use all the time. I have a bunch of things set aside because our house has always had an Irish themed Kitchen! This is my newest item
When I got ready to wrap Jacob's birthday gift, I realized I didn't have any birthday paper! I improvised with inside out Christmas paper and digital scrapbook ellies I printed out!
Jacob and I found this cake on Pinterest and used it loosely as inspiration for his birthday cake... Here is the finished one! (Which by the way is Rainbow Chip with Vanilla Marshmallow frosting!)
On the 22nd 25 people came out to celebrate Jacob's birthday with lunch at Capperelli's! Here is Jacob about to blow out the candles!
The school requires cupcakes being sent for Birthday's to be store bought. Jacob won't eat them, so instead we made up little goody bags for him to give his class!
Mina likes to take advantage of Chuck being gone to steal his spot... And even sometimes his pillow and blanket!
What does a 31 year old man do when he is stuck sitting on the side of the highway for 8 hours? He builds snow zombies of course! And then sends the photos along with silly stories back to his sons!!
On February 27th Jacob turned 10! We surprised him by picking him up from school and then taking him to Diary Queen for Ice Cream! (Even if it was crazy cold outside!)
On the very last day of February I made Blueberry Pancakes and Peppered Bacon for the boys for Breakfast! His is the huge stack I made (and no, they didn't eat them all!)

Tuesday, February 24, 2015

DigiScrap Memories

The other day I was feeling down in the dumps. I started going through my old photos on my external harddrive and decided to scrap some of them! And I thought I would share some with you...
Brothers
Template Used: Inspired Vol3 (Queen Wild Scraps)
Chalk Ridge Falls
Template Used: Insta Templates Vol2 (Designs by Connie Prince)
Christmas in the Nursery
Template Used: What's In Your Pocket? (Dagi's Temp-Tations)
Fountain
Template Used: Shape Up - Round & Round 1 (Dagi's Temp-Tations)
It's All About Love
Kit Used: Best in Love (Pixelily Designs)
Template Used: Scrap It (Blue Heart Scraps)
Jacob in Condor Park
Kit Used: As the Leaves Turn (Crazy 4 Monograms)
Template Used: Circles & Scallops Vol5 (Queen Wild Scraps)
#LoveThis
Kit Used: Fun with Photos (Designs by Connie Price)
Template Used: LoveStory Clusters (Timberscraps)
No Training Wheels
Kit Used: It's a Boy Thing (Crazy 4 Monograms)
Template Used: Temp Challenge 1 (Time Out Sscraps)
Play Hard
Kit Used: Bright Days Ahead (CathyK Designs)
Sleepy Head Ben
Kit Used: Forever Yours (Inspired Designs by Crystal)
Template Used: Clip It (Memory Clips)

It's so weird to look back and see how much my sons have changed... Weird yet very rewarding! :)

Friday, February 13, 2015

February's First 13 Days!

Whew has this been one busy month! And yet by some miracle I have managed to capture at least one photo every day so far... And on at least one occasion over 50 in the same day! :)
But the first 13 days of February looked something like this:
I spent a bunch of time on the 31st working on a few things and put them together on the 1st to make the bulletin board in the Children's department match the theme of our study, Candy!
Off and on the last week or so we've had a rude dude in a plane buzzing our houses. Today I was able to snap a few shots, like this one. If he does it again, I'm going to have to check into how to file a complaint against an airplane!
One of Ben's birthday gifts from my parents was a 3ft Batman floor puzzle. He put it together for the first time this morning and had a blast doing so!
One of his gifts from me & Chuck was a Light Bright. Today he made his first "all on his own" creation without a template!
Wanna know what happens when you have two crazy boys helping make things in the kitchen? Things like this: (There are just no words! lol)
The GAs I teach were having a bake sale and this is the portion of things that I made for the sale.
My sister and Niece came down to spend some time with us. We headed out to lunch and I snapped this amazing photo of my Daddy and his only Granddaughter! (Talk about a precious memory!!)
 
And here is a shot of myself and some of my GAs during the sale.
This shot shows Ben's idea of "5 year old Fashion" (lol)
And this was an attempt at a selfie... But someone photo bombed!
In April the GAs are having a craft sale at a local little market... The girls made their first project for it, cross necklaces that they decorated themselves. I think they did a fantastic job!!
I found a cute little bag of Gummy Cats at Target in the Valentines Day things... And made a silly tag to go on it for Jacob's teacher. Here is the finished product!
And last (but not least) here is a photo of Jacob being silly and making his brother (and his Momma) laugh!! So how's the first 13 days of February been shaping up for you??

Monday, February 9, 2015

January Highlights & Good Intentions

I had great intentions when 2015 came around. I had intentions on blogging every week. It didn't matter what day, just one day a week...
And then 2015 got crazy. It's been nuts how much as happened so far in the past few weeks. And it's not bad things, just the kind of things that keep a girl busy and away from her camera!
So without further adieu, here are the highlights for January 2015.
For Christmas my sister got the boys Monster Jam sheets for their beds... After some talking to Ben about the sheer amount of stuffed animals he owned, we were able to get them on the bed:
We had a few nights with an amazing Blood Moon and I was able to get a few shots:
The boys have enjoyed having Scrambler back and with nicer weather comes more rides!
Mom and I took the boys to get haircuts after work one evening! (P.S. Please excuse Ben's mustache. His skin soaks up dyes like crazy. This was from Kool-aid almost 3 hours earlier!)
We always get amazing sunrises, but I don't often get photos of them... Luckily, the bus was running late and I was able to get some shots like this one while waiting for it to arrive:
My new wedding set Chuck got me for Christmas finally came in from getting sized. It's so beautiful and I feel blessed and loved every time I look at my finger!
For Christmas Ben got a jaguar (which is his favorite animal). Today I looked back after I heard "There's a giant cat on my head" to snap this photo:
The 29th was my Dads birthday and I snapped this photo of Ben sitting outside his door waiting to sing Happy Birthday to him!
And finally Jacob snapped this shot of me while we were waiting for Mom outside Family Christian Store. I had my hair thinned out a few days before and wanted to show Chuck how it came out.
And other then a certain someone turning 5, that was January in a nutshell... But that's a whole different Blog Post! ;)
And I say I'll promise to get more posts written soon.. Even if no one reads my blog but me.

Benjamin turns 5!

I still can't believe that my Baby is 5.
For his birthday he requested a Batman cake so I hit Pinterest to find ideas. In the end I found this pin and made it my own. Ben picked a Red Funfetti Cake and Yellow Frosting with a black Sugar Sheet Batman Logo. Pretty simple to make and it sure tasted good!
After Church on the 25th (which was supposed to be his birthday but stubborn Ben didn't come out that day! lol) we got together for lunch. There was a total of 29 people who showed up to eat, drink, and be merry with us. Ben loved every second of it!!
Here he is getting ready to blow the candles out on his cake. He also opened some presents while he was there including a new blue lightsaber from his Uncle B and Aunt E. Needless to say as soon as we got home it needed batteries and he and Jacob were in a battle to the death (Or at least until the batteries die!)
So my Monster is 5. Here is a collage of his birthdays 1st - 4th:
And now number 5!
So happy birthday Monster. I hope you enjoyed the day. We are so proud of the happy, funny, go-getter you've become. May God continue to grow and bless you in every way possible!
Love, Momma & Daddy